Why Your Mom Should Not Be Your Wedding Coordinator


The day of your wedding should be a day of celebration, love, and fun, because everything you and your loved ones have worked for is coming together beautifully as you unite your life to your favorite person. I have worked with one too many brides whose wonderful and loving mothers have stepped into the shoes of a full-time or day-of coordinator and have not been able to experience the day with their daughters like it should be.

I reached out to one of my brides from over the years and asked her why she chose to hire a coordinator after originally not having one through most of her wedding planning process. She shared with me that it positively impacted her day and her relationship with her mom throughout the rest of their planning and the day of.

"We decided to get a coordinator after I attended a wedding where they didn’t have one, so the bride’s mom was so busy that every time she talked to her daughter, it was to ask about a detail or to bring up a problem. She didn’t get to experience the day with the bride at all and it caused stress for the bride. By the time the wedding started, the bride’s mom was sweaty and still working on details even in her dress. So, after seeing that, it was important to me that my mom be relaxed on the day of my wedding."

A wedding planner/day-of-coordinator's job is to make sure your wedding is exactly what you want it to be. A planner can be involved throughout the processes of choosing vendors, meeting deadlines, partnering with your photographer to create the perfect timeline, and much more. On the day of, they are there to make sure everything runs smoothly and timely. Having flexibility in your timeline is super important, but the whole point of creating one is to make sure you can fit everything that you want into your big day. At times, I have seen this be difficult because of the lack of a coordinator. Brides, grooms and their families get rushed and lose precious and stress free moments together.

"We hired a month-of-coordinator, and she was able to keep us on track and pull together details. Having a third person involved also helped to prevent tension between me and my mom during the planning process. On wedding day, my mom and I were able to sit and talk and even get ready together."

Don't know where to start? Check out this blog post on the five steps to hiring a wedding planner by The Knot.

"Those are moments you can’t do over, and I know that if we hadn’t hired a coordinator, she would have been tied up making sure everything was perfect for me. It was expensive, but in hindsight, any amount of money would have been worth it to be able to spend that time with my mom."